Just Be

Yesterday I posted in my stories the foraging in our own front yard adventures. Rob and I got outside for half an hour and collected just a small bit of the insane amount of violets we suddenly have, to make some violet jam.

During our time out there, Rob was being super chill and just enjoying being in the moment, and I was chattering away nonstop. Just literal word diarrhea of any thought that came into my head. Now to be fair... most of my day is spent with an 11 week old... so adult human interaction is glorious!

At one point Rob turned to me and said you really can’t turn your mind off can you? And we talked about how my mind is CONSTANTLY going NONSTOP. And it got me thinking about how much I struggle with just being in the moment. Part of me craves it and another part of me balks at it.

I think that’s why I’m drawn to things like Archery and throwing on my wheel. Both activities help me find a happy medium, they let me disconnect and be in the moment, but still be working on something. It’s not just walking in the woods, it’s walking to the next target and settling and tuning everything out to make the shot.

I’d like to get to a place of being just to be too. But I’m not quite there yet. Seeing small glimmers of it, but I’m not going to force it. Then it’s not enjoyable. So yesterday during our flower gathering I decided to lay in the middle of the yard eyes closed and just, for a few sweet moments, enjoyed the feel of the sun on my face. And in that moment, that’s all there was, and it was glorious.

Do you struggle with just being? How have you worked through it?