Updated: Sep 10, 2021
It’s long, hang in with me, I promise it’s good!!
Trigger warning: grief, loss, cancer. Sharing some more of my story as I share what’s to come next. But please know I will be sharing some raw experiences and feelings. If you’ve lived through losing a loved one to a disease and it’s too painful for you, in this moment, to read further I want you to know- I understand, I see you, and I love you exactly where you are in your grief.
I’ve been alluding to changes for a while on my social media. I should have seen this coming a long time ago. In fact if I’m being really honest with myself, I’ve seen it coming for years, but I just wasn’t ready for it. Couldn’t admit it, wanted it so badly, but thought it was too unrealistic, too scary.
There are things in life that change us. Change our perspectives. Change our priorities. Shift who we are at the core. I’m sure so many of you can relate. And truly id love to share in conversation with you what that was for each of you.
I’ve had a few huge life altering moments, along with many smaller ones that layered in with those. You know what I’m talking, about those moments, that you live through, and after you come out the other side, you know there has been a subtle shift inside of you.
For me a lot of it has been around life changing diagnoses for me and the ones I love.
Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. Heart attack. PCOS. Cancer. Pandemic.
I’m sure there will be more. I’ve watched people I love suffer, and question, and come to terms with what they are experiencing. I’ve watched some of them die. Men I love in their thirties, gone to a horrible disease. I’ve seen the fear in their eyes. But I’ve seen the love they have for those they love. I’ve seen the joy they experienced in the littlest moments, now knowing how precious time was for them. I’ve painfully spent their last months, weeks, days, hours with them. Forever scarred by the trauma of it, but always in awe and gratitude for the time I had with them, I wouldn’t change getting that time with them.
Ive battled for years to understand what was going on in my own body. Watched as others around me struggled with similar things. No name for it, dismissed by loved ones, doctors, given bandaids to cover it up, temporarily.
And I made changes. I struggled with what I could and couldn’t control. I shifted my eating, listened to my intuition. And sat with the fear and anxiety of losing someone else to cancer or so many other host of illnesses, metabolic conditions, you name it.
But I kept ignoring one big thing. There was still one big part of my life I wasn’t changing. I was still chasing the career, the shoulds, the next big thing. Sure I walked away from toxic jobs when the next thing wasn’t lined up, I’ve worked for free, I’ve followed a non traditional career path even when experts cautioned against it. And I’ve had beautiful success doing that. But I still was making those decisions in the guise of the next big job is the only way to live your life.
And then life happened. Loss happened. Reminders kept popping up over and over and over. And the forced slow down of the pandemic allowed me to step into some of what I wanted. Slowing down. Creating. Growing. Changing.
And maybe the final most beautiful push was becoming a mother. For then, was another moment where something inside shifted. Not from pain or loss, but from birth and life.
I don’t want to live in the shoulds anymore. I don’t want to wait for another diagnosis to have the lightbulb moment.
I want time with my daughter.
I want freedom to dive into passions and create.
I want flexibility to have slow days at home cooking, building, growing. And then fast days locked into my to do list creating content, managing projects, leading.
I want to live more naturally, connected to the food I eat, and the nature I spend time in.
I want to live a simpler life.
I want to continue to slowly grow my coaching business.
I want to share my stories with others.
I want the shifts I’ve made in my life to show others that they can make shifts in theirs.
I want to help others learn that there are other ways to do things. And then help them decide what that looks like for them.
I don’t have it all figured out. Who does?!
But I know my priorities have continued to shift. And I figured that every time I’ve changed jobs I’d make an announcement on here and you beautiful souls would celebrate with me. Let’s celebrate this too!
Now that my maternity leave is officially over. I have officially left my full time role at HWS. It was hard. It was the right thing for me. Going forward I am going to be raise my daughter, continuing to grow and expand our dream of living a simpler life on our little homestead to be, crafting and creating, living as holistically as possible. And sharing that journey with as many of you who want to come along.
I’ll be continuing to expand my coaching business working 1:1 and launching some exciting programs!
Consulting, teaching courses, offering workshops
Taking on some more freelance clients in social media, content creation, digital operations (so if ya know anyone looking!!)
I’ll be sharing more content on creating and living our life this way over on my social media channels!
I’m excited, and scared, to step into this space of working for myself completely. I don’t know if it’s forever, I sure hope it is. But I know I’ll always listen to my deep intuition on what’s right for us. It’s going to take a community of support, in so many ways. But I can’t wait to share it with you all.
So if any of this resonates with you or has you curious, follow me over on IG @CoachCaitFinn and spread the word.
I can’t wait to continue to create this amazing life of mine. And enjoy every single darn moment of it. However many there are.